Simple

There are no simple things in life. Mark my words on this one. Even the simplest of tasks can be made difficult with enough engineering. What may seem like a great innovation or a revolutionary idea to one man may be another man's nemesis. And that's why I hate sippy cups.

I just want to get my kids some juice. Shouldn't that be simple? But, alas, the modern day sippy cup has more parts than MacGyver would know what to do with. There are plastic straws and rubber tubes and grommets to contend with. And no two are alike, either. So if you have different brands, the parts may look similar, but their dimensions are just larger or smaller than their counterparts so as not to work properly. It's like three incompatible erector sets all piled together, and although the parts look alike, they are most certainly not.

Instead of pouring juice into a glass and being done with it, I'm first faced with the daunting task of sorting through all of the pieces and then trying to put together not one, but two of these things. That wouldn't be so bad if my kids weren't spewing tears and wailing at the top of their lungs. It's like trying to spell Antidisestablishmentarianism while someone is poking you with a sharp stick. It's easy to lose your concentration.

But like all things in life, this condition is only temporary. Soon my children will be out of diapers and drinking from regular glasses, and we'll be forced to carry extra pants and plenty of napkins to mop up spilled milk. By then, of course, we will have forgotten the trials and tribulations of the sippy cup era, romanticized the memory, and lament those lost days when life was much easier, simpler even. So let these words stand as my reminder: Nothing in life is simple, least of all, sippy cups.